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When I was an attorney, I worked at a large law firm in Silicon Valley, representing entrepreneurs.
One day a recruiter from a competing firm called and intrigued me with a different model for practicing law and enticed me with the prospect of exciting projects. I was conflicted. I didn’t want to leave – I loved my current firm. But I also didn’t want to miss the opportunity. I swirled in indecision. I floundered in uncertainty. And after reluctantly interviewing, I feebly accepted an offer. I switched firms in what felt like a default instead of a conviction. I don’t regret the decision. I regret the process. I regret going through it alone and confused. And I was quick to blame my challenge on a lack of mentoring. But I had a terrific boss who would have gladly mentored me. And I had access to thoughtful, strategic people at work and in life who would have eagerly contributed their advice… had I asked. But I lacked the courage to be mentored.
Recently when a friend didn’t ask for help as he embarked on a career change, I felt disappointed. I have experienced what he is experiencing; I have insights and wisdom to contribute; I have ideas and resources to share. But he didn’t engage me. At first, I took it personally. And then I realized that he might be oblivious to or insecure about seeking guidance. With compassion, I extended a mentoring offer, “Let me know if you might benefit from my advice, perspectives, or ideas. I’ve been through a similar experience, and I’m happy to help!” Most people struggle to find the courage to change. Let’s ease their burden of also finding the courage to be mentored. When we anchor formal, structured mentoring programs to any career or leadership transition, mentoring becomes an integrated part of the process. Not something else to neglect or navigate. © 2021. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com |