| I delivered my Power of Presence workshop last week to a wonderful community called The Brave Heart Center (www.thebraveheartcenter.com).
We spent time on our body language and our voice; but it was our work on words that highlighted the various ways we shrink instead of shine.
We explored how our notorious use of Apology Words (“I’m sorry”) and Filler Words (“umm, you know, like, you know what I mean”) depletes our power. We could easily elevate our communication skills simply by preventing these words from polluting our speech.
And then there is the insidious group of words that we allow to undermine our power: Protector Words.
What are protector words? Words that we add to our sentences to protect us from other people’s judgment and criticism.
Fear and doubt trigger our reliance on Protector Words.
- This might be a dumb question…
- You may have already covered this…
- As you might already know…
- I’m not sure if…
- I don’t know how many of you have seen this, but…
And pay attention to the shrewd Protector Words that sneak into our vernacular habitually:
- Just (“I just wanted to reach out.”)
- I think (“I think we should choose this one.”)
Notice how pervasively the words “just” and “I think” appear in our conversations and emails.
All of these phrases seem innocuous. So what’s the issue? Protector Words signal a lack of confidence and conviction… like a sucker-punch to our power!
What should we do instead? Intentionally eliminate them and stand courageously behind our words: “I am reaching out to you.” “We should choose this one.”
Will we still be judged and criticized? Of course! But we’d be judged and criticized even if we didn’t say anything.
Our power is bolstered when we lead with confidence and conviction, not fear and doubt. |
