| Many people gripe regularly about being “so busy” that it wears like a badge of honor.But are we busy with activities that contribute to our personal and professional goals? Or do we say “Yes” because we struggle saying “No”?
Busy being busy often results because:
- We harbor a fear of missing out.
- We don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings (people pleasers unite!).
- We lack clear boundaries.
So how can we say “No” in a way that maintains our relationship, doesn’t require a litany of excuses and apologies, and communicates an interest in future opportunities?
Grab a go-to-no statement! Here’s the formula:
- Say yes! to the Person
- Say no! to the Invitation
- Say yes! to the Future
Go-to-No examples:
- “I’m so flattered. Unfortunately it doesn’t work for me. Next time!”
- “Thank you for thinking of me! I’m bummed I’m unable to participate. Let’s try again soon!”
- “I would have loved to! I’m disappointed that I have to pass. Rain check?”
- “That sounds amazing! Regrettably it’s not the right fit for me. Please consider me in the future.”
Then be silent. For typically when we reject an offer, we rush to justify: “Oooh! I’m so sorry. I can’t. I have to work on this project, speak on a panel, attend a meeting, join that call, and go to a conference…”
Instead, practice filling the silence with more silence. We don’t owe evidence or explanations to back up our boundaries.
When we project authenticity and graciousness while illuminating our borders with simplicity and confidence, people will respect our “No” – they won’t demand to verify our calendar.
Chaos leaves people confused and insecure, while clarity strengthens trust and relationships.
When busy being busy becomes the norm, it might be time to practice the joy of missing out! |
