Each day we interact with countless people, exchanging pleasantries as we proceed. “How are you?” How was your weekend?” “What’s new?” “How was school today?”
And as we are asking, we anticipate their one-word responses: “Good” “Great” “Nothing” “Fine.”
1-inch questions yield 1-inch responses. And yet these quick interactions are vital to our survival, ensuring we connect with cordiality, but without getting stuck confabulating. 1-inch questions allow us to converse while moving, and transact while multi-tasking.
But to engage with others, we must evolve the 1-inch conversation using Yardstick questions:
- Really? What was that like?
- What did you learn?
- What was your experience?
- Anything surprise you?
- Interesting. Tell me more.
Yardstick questions force us to pause for a person, intentionally making the moment about the other person. Suddenly, we are listening as if our relationship depends on it. When we authentically ask Yardstick questions, we become curious, eager, and present – not knowing what we will discover.
Yardstick questions demonstrate our commitment, while Yardstick answers reveal volumes about the other person. The result is transformational, not just transactional.
- We care about them.
- So they trust us.
- And then they share.
- Which bolsters our connection.
- And fuels our trust.
- And then they care about us.
When we need to get by people, we ask 1-inch questions. When we need to get into people, we ask Yardstick questions.
1-inch questions create transactional connections. Yardstick questions create transformational engagement.