I’ve been hooked on Katie Couric podcasts lately.
What I love most about Katie is her rabid curiosity. She is masterful at shining the spotlight on others. And when someone shares an experience similar to hers, she never steals the spotlight with, “That happened to me too. Let me tell you my experience…”
When someone tells us their story and we jump in with our own story, we are guilty of spotlight stealing.
We don’t do it maliciously, and (typically) we don’t intend to be rude. We actually share our just-like-me stories because humans connect based on similarities. We pivot to our story – which is just like theirs – because we want to bond.
But in doing so, we inadvertently steal the spotlight. We grab the microphone. We push them off the stage.
To truly develop a connection with someone, we need to keep the spotlight on them until the bulb flickers and fades.
How?
- Be genuinely interested and curious
- Use 1-inch and yardstick questions
- Ask follow-up questions
- Eliminate or mitigate distractions (Katie Couric never Snapchats through an interview!)
- Listen like you’re on assignment
It takes a conscious effort not to steal the spotlight, but the boon to the relationship is worth it:
- They feel listened to and important
- Their trust increases
- We connect and bond
And because of that increased trust, they more readily disclose information to us. We gain access to their beliefs, knowledge, and attitudes, thus further strengthening our bond and our ability to make a difference.
Don’t worry. We’ll get our turn on the stage. But remember, our power to connect and influence lies in letting someone else have the spotlight. Just watch Katie Couric in action!