Woo-hoo! The annual holiday to be more grateful has arrived!
And every year, experts apprise us of all the benefits we could reap personally by being more grateful: lower blood pressure, less stress, better sleep, stronger mental clarity, happiness…
But what about the influence that being grateful can have on others?
There are two behavioral theories that get triggered when we acknowledge and appreciate others:
1. Self-Delusion Bias
2. Spotlight Effect
Self-Delusion Bias People who feel good about themselves tend to perform better. When we express gratitude by acknowledging someone, we fuel their self-esteem and boost their confidence. And with boosted confidence, people exert even more effort in hopes of obtaining more self-esteem fuel.
Spotlight Effect People who feel their actions are noticed (“spotlighted”) by someone tend to operate more effectively just to impress the person watching. When we express gratitude by appreciating someone’s actions, we spotlight that action.
Just by noticing, we spark that person’s desire to perform that action even better in hopes that we continue to notice and spotlight that action again.
The secret, however, is in the specificity. Running around yelling “Thanks, Bob!” “Thanks, Mary!” is ineffective because it feels contrived and insincere. How? We need to put some gusto in our gratitude!
- Thank you for the way you always make us healthy dinners.
- I appreciate the difference you make on the team with your solutions.
- I am grateful for your perseverance in getting us the right answer.
- I am in awe of your constant kindness toward strangers.
If we want our gratitude to be significant and ripple with impact beyond the holidays, we need to add a little gusto to our gratitude!