Was I Kind Enough? (Reflections Following a Colleague’s Death)
One of my employees died last week from a sudden heart attack. And I am struck by how much my heart hurts.
I’ve lost family members, but never a colleague. Scott was professional, patient, eager, funny, even-tempered (a gift that offset my intensity), flexible, dedicated, hungry to learn and grow (even at 58!), appreciative, trusted, and gracious.
Since I received the news, I’ve been wrestling with one question: was I kind enough to him?
- Did I appreciate him enough?
- Was I patient enough?
- Did I apologize enough for the times I wasn’t?
- Did I thank him enough?
- Did I praise his contributions enough?
- Did I stop enough to get to know him?
- Did I ask about his family enough?
- Did I show him enough compassion?
Because I can’t anymore. My team lost more than a colleague; we are sad because we lost a friend.
And that is how I reconciled my uncertainty. While I wasn’t always kind or patient, working with Scott helped me be a better boss and a better person. That’s why we parted as friends.
When we spend so much time focusing on our employees, it’s easy to lose sight of our human beings.
Undoubtedly, this experience has given me pause to consider: how can I be a better person to the other human beings on my team? Scott would be happy…