All Posts by Ann Tardy

0 There’s Nothing Urgent About Mentoring (and that’s why you should do it)

We just kicked off another leadership mentoring program for one of our clients.

And I’m bracing myself for the inevitable… Before the end, someone in the program will confess, “I’m so busy. I haven’t connected with my Mentor.”

Of course you’re busy! That’s how you got into the program. By successfully doing a lot of things – by being really great at your job.

Here’s the acute reality: there is nothing urgent about mentoring.

Mentoring is important but it is not urgent. And that’s why we need to do it.

If we are committed to successfully managing AND leading, it’s imperative that we learn how to distinguish and serve the urgent (the issues, the immediate needs, the emergencies) while making time for the important. It’s a critical, yet overlooked distinction of strong leadership.

So how should we define “important”?

• growing ourselves and others
• honing skills and creating new experiences
• discovering fresh approaches and perspectives
• collaborating, innovating, and improving
• recognizing, appreciating, and celebrating others
• connecting and building trusting relationships

By participating in a mentoring relationship, we have the opportunity to practice the art of intentionally advancing the important while effectively managing the urgent.

And if we can learn how to make time for the important-but-not-urgent, we’ll have an impact at work (and in life) well beyond our job titles. 

So how do you advance the important while managing the urgent?

• Find something to care about (what’s important to you?)
• Master communications (listening, speaking, expectations, conflict)
• Learn to delegate effectively (develop, don’t dump!)
• Tackle procrastination and time-zappers

Frankly, I don’t care if participants accomplish their goals in the mentoring program. I only care that they care.

When we are intentional with our time, our relationships, and our communications, we can undertake the important-but-not-urgent, navigate the urgent, and make a difference that ripples.

0 Experiment With Yes! (like Chico’s CEO)

A foundational rule in improvisational comedy is to “start with Yes!”

Performers are taught to accept whatever is offered in the dialogue and then expand on it. (ex: “I am the king of the world!” “Yes, I can see by the kangaroo on your head that it’s going well!” If instead I respond, “No, you’re not,” our exchange quickly deflates.)

In life starting with “Yes!” creates positive connection, fuels trust, and inspires creativity and collaboration.

As managers, we instinctively aim for a solution, deferring to our intelligence, experience, tenure, or title. In doing so, we often thwart people’s suggestions with our wisdom: “No, that doesn’t work.” “No, it’s not done that way.” “No, it’s not possible.”

But we don’t intend to denigrate others’ ideas. We actually go-to-no because we naturally feel it’s our job to save people, projects, and situations from calamity.

So what would happen if we experimented with Yes!…

Shelley Broader, CEO of Chico’s, a women’s clothing boutique, did just this.

Most retailers abhor Amazon; but condemning the behemoth doesn’t abate its impact.

Broader shifted Chico’s approach by experimenting with “Yes!” Instead of resisting the reality of Amazon, she embraced it.

Chico’s is now selling its merchandise on Amazon and allowing customers to easily return their purchases in any store or bring them in to be matched with additional items, like accessories.

The result? In-store sales have increased!

By starting with “Yes!”, Chico’s is expanding brand awareness, making it easy to do business with Chico’s, and attracting new foot traffic.

We too can shift from go-to-no to start-with-Yes!

Experiment with these phrases:

• Interesting, tell me more.
• How could we make that work?
• What can we do differently?
• Let’s explore that.

And the benefit of saying “Yes!” more often? Optimism… a characteristic we crave in leaders.

0 Do You Deal in Hope (like Napoleon)?

Napoleon Bonaparte said, “A leader is a dealer in hope.”

That describes every start-up CEO I represented as a corporate attorney in Silicon Valley. Each one was hard-working and demanding. Yet each one intentionally painted a picture of the future to inspire people to join the company and contribute to its success.

Research conducted by Gallup asked 10,000 individuals what they want from their boss, and they discovered four overarching desires:

• Compassion: care personally and individually
• Stability: job constancy
• Trust: behavioral predictability
• Hope: inspiration for a better future

Hope is the conviction that our work today actually matters and that tomorrow will be even better as a result.

So how can we practically “deal in hope” on a regular basis?

• Shout a battle cry (a vision, a purpose)
• Choose positive, encouraging language (“That was a great insight.”)
• Connect activity with impact (“Your work makes a difference because…”)
• Employ inspirational posters, emails, and tag lines (“Success is on the other side of fear”)
• Be a role model (people mold their own behavior by watching what we do)
• Recognize effort (“I appreciate your attempt at helping the client.”)
• Celebrate small victories (“We’re getting closer! woo-hooo!”)
• Express belief in others (“You can do this!”)

The opposite of dealing in hope is trafficking in fear. And fear shuts down motivation, enthusiasm, collaboration, and innovation. Just ask anyone who hates their boss. They don’t feel hope. They feel fear… fear of being judged, criticized, blamed, and even fired.

Jeff, a manager in one of my Managing and Leading programs, shared how he regularly deals in hope. He doesn’t just delegate an assignment or project; he makes an invitation with a simple yet powerful phrase delivered enthusiastically, yet sincerely:

“This is your chance for greatness.”

0 UPS Driver’s Advice Can Inspire Our Own Job Love

Since 1962 Tom Camp has been driving a UPS truck. He’s 77. In Sunday’s New York Times “Vocations” section, Tom was highlighted for having the safest driving record in UPS history:

• 55 years
• 1+ million miles
• 0 crashes

He attributes his safety record to UPS’s great training and accountability. I’m giving credit to Tom and his job love. Tom offered the following tips for success behind the wheel. We can easily apply his common sense for our own success in life.

1. Scan the big picture. Keep your eyes moving. We often fixate on details and miss context. Being aware of the changing landscape allows us to make better decisions. 
2. When the light turns green, count 1-2-3 before moving. If we pause to count in any situation, we can take action deliberately, not emotionally.
3. Check the mirrors. We all have blind spots, and moving forward without looking for them only limits our potential. 
4. Let erratic drivers pass. We can’t change people, but we can protect ourselves.
5. Keep your mind focused.  It’s dangerous to drive on the road or go through life while staring at a screen. Being present gives us the power to choose our next steps purposefully. 
6. If there’s rain, snow, or sleet, slow down. We can’t control change; we can only adapt, adjust, and persevere accordingly.
7. Assume the other guy is daydreaming. Other people do not perceive the world as we do, and assuming they do fuels miscommunications, conflict, and altercations.
8. Use your turn signal. When we communicate our intentions and expectations, we engender trust and strengthen relationships.

Tom doesn’t just have a safe driving record. He has job love: pride, purpose, and meaning from doing his job in a way that makes a difference.

Safe driving and job love… two things we could all use more of.

0 Six Seconds Could Change Your Life

I hit someone in third grade. Not a punch. Just a slap on the back, angry about a game I wanted and my classmate wouldn’t share. Infuriated by her bratty “No!”, I reacted.

I was young, immature, and emotionally unintelligent. Fortunately, our teacher wasn’t. Today, my hands don’t strike, but my words can. Out of frustration, anger, or defensiveness, I can easily react instead of respond.

Emotional intelligence lies in the moments after an altercation – a skill that can fundamentally improve our leadership and our lives. So I’m learning to pause in those moments.

The 6-Second Rule Science has determined that emotions are actually electrochemical signals coursing through the brain and body delivering messages that focus our energy and attention, and motivate us to act.

But when we are upset, a burst of these chemicals floods our brain and body, hindering our ability to think clearly or intelligently, and indulging our emotionally unintelligent reactions.

Research shows that it takes…

• 6 seconds for those chemicals to get absorbed back into the body
• 6 seconds for us to become objective about the feelings we’re feeling
• 6 seconds for us to generate compassion instead

And according to researchers, if we feel an emotion longer than 6 seconds we are – in some ways – choosing to recreate and refuel those feelings.

So how do we create a 6-second habit?

1. Talk about it
2. Use a timer
3. Post visual reminders (ex: post-it notes!)
4. Notice others using it (or not)
5. Pay attention to what triggers those emotions
6. Keep a journal
7. Create an intentional diversion (like singing the alphabet or whistling)
8. Start counting

6 seconds to halt regrettable anger.
6 seconds to shift to empathy.
6 seconds to be a better boss, partner, friend, and human being.

0 How Jigsaw Puzzles Improve Our Collaboration

One of my readers emailed me recently with a suggestion for creating community: jigsaw puzzles! Interesting… why don’t I do jigsaw puzzles?

• Arguably, I’m too busy.
• Practically, I want to focus on projects that progress my goals.
• Realistically, what’s the point? I already know the end result (the picture on the box!)

As an experiment, however, I bought a 1,000-piece puzzle and dumped it on my unused dining room table… fighting the urge to do something more productive.
Here’s what I discovered:

1. Patience. The puzzle was too complicated to solve at one time. So I played with it in spurts over a month.
2. Pause. Turning to it gave me a much-needed pause from the chaos.
3. Perspective. I often walked to the other side of the table just to study pieces, progress, and the big picture from a different angle.
4. Partnership. Instead of watching TV, my family started helping me, even cheering when we found a missing piece or completed a section.
5. Practice. It forced me to practice thinking critically. By definition, critical thinking involves recognizing patterns and understanding how information is connected together.

A Mentor in one of our programs reflected that being a Mentor has taught him to think critically about how he leads so that he can share valuable and practical advice with his Mentee.
Like jigsaw puzzles, mentoring and other ways we collaborate require patience, pause, perspective, partnership, and practice. Ultimately, completing the jigsaw puzzle did not allow me to cross anything off my to-do list. And the final picture was not a surprise. But the experience definitely offered me a new way to strengthen essential collaboration skills.

So now I’ll be bringing a jigsaw puzzle whenever I need to encourage people to connect, collaborate, and cheer!