Ann Tardy, Author at Ann Tardy | Speaker, Author, Trainer - Page 22 of 37

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[Flash] Ask Yardstick Questions (like Einstein)

Einstein said, “If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question to ask, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”

There are two kinds of questions…

1-inch Questions
Simple questions that generate 1-word answers:

  • How are you? Great!
  • Did you deliver the report? Yes.

 

Yardstick Questions
Follow-up questions that compel one to pause and process before answering:

  • What was that experience like?
  • How could we improve this project?
  • Tell me more.

 

Some of my favorite Yardstick Questions:

To mentor or coach someone on an issue/situation/goal:

  • What outcome do you want?
  • What does success look like?
  • How do you think you’re doing so far?
  • Anything you need to be doing differently?
  • What obstacles are you facing?
  • What have you already tried?
  • Where do you need advice, perspectives, ideas, or resources?

 

To identify immediate needs:

  • What skill/experience gaps are hindering your success?
  • What skills/experiences would elevate your influence?
  • What do you want to accomplish next and why?

 

To reflect on the big picture:

  • What problems or situations energize you?
  • What areas of the business fascinate you and why?
  • Where do you want to spend more of / less of your time and energy at work?

 

And then we need to listen on purpose, with curiosity, earnestness, and presence… as if our life depended on their answers.

For answers are like a telescope – they reveal people to us, offering clarity around their mindset, perspective, thought process, aspirations, and concerns.

With those insights, we can mentor and lead in ways that make a difference.

While 1-inch questions are essential for day-to-day transactions, ultimately yardstick questions are the gateway to transformation.

Are You Playing? (inspired by the movie Tag)

We don’t stop playing because we grow old.
We grow old because we stop playing.

(attributed mostly to George Bernard Shaw, sometimes
to Benjamin Franklin or Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)

This line was quoted in the movie Tag, which I had the joy of watching recently.

Based on a true story, the movie showcases a group of adults who have continued their game of tag since they were kids… over 23 years!

By definition, “play” is engaging in an activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than for a serious or practical purpose.

When I was a kid, my friends and I…

  • went snowmobiling in the winter
  • ran through sprinklers in the summer
  • roller-skated in the basement
  • tossed the football in the backyard (to this day, I throw a mean spiral!)
  • rode big wheels and bicycles
  • jumped on every swing we found
  • played board games when it rained
  • went swimming in the lake when it didn’t

 

Why don’t we play more like this as adults? Perhaps we perceive that as grown-ups we must engage in serious and practical activities. Isn’t play simply an unproductive use of our time?

But what if play actually is practical and productive?

Psychiatrist Stuart Brown’s research revealed that play is critical for connecting with strangers, rekindling relationships, solving problems creatively, and boosting productivity. And it’s a catalyst for joy and happiness!

So how can we ripple more play into our day?

By making time for whatever activities we enjoy needlessly:

  • Jigsaws puzzles, board games, cards
  • Reading
  • Theater, television, movies
  • Dancing, singing, playing instruments
  • Kayaking, bicycling, walking
  • Knitting, painting, pottery
  • Playing fetch with dogs and make-believe with kids
  • Creating new adventures or experiences

 

Dr. Brown compares play to oxygen, “… it’s all around us, yet goes mostly unnoticed or unappreciated until it is missing.”

The first step to inhaling play? Give ourselves permission to play without producing or progressing anything.

Holidays are the Pause Button in Life

  • 60 years ago we didn’t own a personal computer
  • 27 years ago we didn’t have access to the Internet
  • 14 years ago we didn’t have a Facebook or LinkedIn account
  • 11 years ago we were not addicted to our smartphones

 

Constantly connected by screens at home and at work, no wonder it feels like we never have time.

Until a holiday comes along. And suddenly we hit the pause button on all that seems to seize our time and attention.

Whether it’s a national or religious holiday, a vacation, or simply a weekend, here’s why we should be pushing the pause button more often:

1. Improved Body and Mind: Studies show a break improves our sleep, our mood, and our blood pressure.

2. Ruminating Respite: A break allows us to step back and assess with a fresh perspective that which we had been anxiously brooding. And research shows that upon returning to work, our respite from ruminating lasts up to two weeks!

3. Creativity Shift: Because we stop ruminating, studies confirm that when we return to work, our thinking becomes more flexible, collaborative, and innovative.

4. Recharge: Athletes schedule recovery breaks in their training to maintain top performance. Similarly we need recovery breaks from work in order to perform at our best.

5. Increased Positivity: Research reveals that taking a break provides us with a boost of enthusiasm, excitement, and positivity in anticipation of the break and upon return.

So embrace the pause this holiday offers: an opportunity to restore the body, ruminate less, think differently, recharge, and return with refreshed energy to create whatever is next!

Happy Pause Button!

Do you Bring your Shoshin (like CEO of Salesforce)?

Shoshin is a concept in Zen Buddhism that means “beginner’s mind.”

Like children, beginners are open to new learning and discovering. But as we collect experiences and knowledge in a subject, a job, or in life, we tend to ignore new information.

Eventually we listen for information that confirms and validates what we already know and believe.

Unfortunately when we approach situations hauling our preconceptions, assumptions, and biases, our perspective becomes clouded, like smudged eyeglasses.  We aren’t open and eager, like beginners. We are dogmatic and opinionated, like experts.

Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki remarked, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.”

This impenetrable approach blocks our ability to learn anything new…

unless we intentionally bring our Shoshin.

Marc Benioff, Founder and CEO of Salesforce, recently shared in the New York Times, “Having a beginner’s mind informs my management style.  I’m trying to listen deeply, and the beginner’s mind is informing me to step back, so that I can create what wants to be not what was. I know that the future does not equal the past.

I know I have to be here in the moment.” So how can we bring our Shoshin?

  1. Lead with questions, not advice.
  2. Respond, “Interesting. Tell me more.”
  3. Observe and listen.
  4. Be curious… I wonder what makes her say that? I wonder what I’m missing.
  5. Look for blindspots… we all have them.
  6. Imagine the situation from the other person’s perspective.
  7. Stop being right.In a world of bossy close-mindedness, we could use a bit more childlike openness.

Raise your Value with your Voice (just ask Warren Buffett)

Admittedly Warren Buffett was petrified of public speaking. After taking a Dale Carnegie course in 1952, he taught an investment class at a local college to overcome his fears and sharpen this important skill.

Today the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway asserts, “Effective public speaking instantly raises a person’s value by 50%.”

Every day we are on various stages speaking publicly:

  • Leading a meeting
  • Contributing to a conversation
  • Delivering a webinar or a workshop
  • Reporting results to the boss
  • Participating in a conference call
  • Mentoring, teaching, coaching

 

Here are 7 tips to be more effective on any of these stages:

  1. Process in Your Head: Pause, breathe, sort through your thoughts before opening your mouth. Determine what information most contributes to your current audience.
  2. Get to the Verb: Don’t lead with the backstory. Lead with the action. Then, if your audience is engaged, add some adjectives.
  3. Start with Bullets: Whether speaking or emailing, you need to demonstrate that you can synthesize information into the important points. The conversation doesn’t end with bullets; it’s just a compelling place to start.
  4. Involve your Audience: People support conversations they help create. Use questions to involve people in creating the conversation, ex: “Which bullet would you like to know more about?”
  5. Use Metaphors and Stories: People process in pictures, so draw pictures with your words using metaphors and stories for quick comprehension and ultimate retention. (“Speaking in bullets” is a metaphor.)
  6. Listen to their Listening: Pay attention to the audience’s engagement… are they involved? are they distracted or confused? do you need to speed up, slow down, or ask a question?
  7. Practice Constantly: Every stage, from the phone to the podium, is an opportunity to practice.

 

When we improve our public speaking, our confidence magnifies, our audiences’ confidence in us elevates, and our value inevitably and instantly expands.

Stop Kissing Worms

I have a confession… I’ve been kissing a lot of worms lately.

Figuratively, not literally.

I keep getting in the weeds on projects – I’m so far in that I’m kissing worms. For example, Cindy on my team took the initiative to set up a follow-up meeting with a client. I insisted on participating and then I monopolized the conversation. I didn’t need to. She is the consummate client engagement specialist.

So why am I suddenly micromanaging?  Well if I’m honest, I’ve been traveling a lot, the team is growing, and I’m feeling disconnected and less relevant.

Insecurity is at the root of all worm-kissing:

  • We don’t know people’s skills or experiences.
  • We’re confounded by the importance of the situation or task.
  • We feel left out of the loop and therefore vulnerable.
  • And sometimes we’re avoiding other aspects of our job where we feel less proficient.

 

As managers, we’re masterful at kissing worms – managing the heck out of projects made us successful in the first place! But the problem with kissing worms:

  • Our distrust bruises morale (and breeds distrust).
  • We solve problems for people, which hampers their growth.
  • We aren’t teaching, coaching, training, or developing.
  • We become overwhelmed – with our work and theirs.
  • We can’t take on new projects or strategize about the big picture.

 

Granted, some situations warrant our increased involvement, but we can view the weeds without diving into them:

  • Agree on a schedule for receiving updates
  • Discover people’s skills and experiences
  • Share context and content
  • Ensure people have what they need to be successful
  • Encourage questions and ideas
  • Allow people to fail and learn

 

To be a better boss, we must delegate to develop, grow, and recognize people.  In other words… kiss people, not worms (figuratively, not literally).

ps. If you are burdened by a boss who loves to kiss worms, just commit to over-communicating.

Clip that! and Replay the Highlights (like Golden State Warrior Coach Kerr)

Golden State Warriors are in the NBA Finals… again! And Coach Steve Kerr’s strategically choreographed halftime routine undoubtedly contributes to that success.

“Clip that!” Throughout the first half of every game, Warriors coaches call out, “Clip that!” to identify a great play by the Warriors to be edited from video footage.

Replay the Highlights
Then in the locker room at halftime, Coach Kerr replays 8-10 video clips to highlight the Warriors’ defensive moves, strategic offensive plays, and dexterity in moving the ball down the court.

Labeling
Coach Kerr is leveraging a behavioral influence called “Labeling” – people tend to mold their actions based on a label they are given. People then reinforce the label when they adopt the characteristics (the actions!) of that label.

By replaying the highlights of his team’s champion moves, Coach Kerr labels them “champions,” which then influences them to play like champions in the second half.

And it works. The Warriors are notorious for dominating the second half of every game, regardless of how they played in the first half.

We too can “Clip that!” to label our people “champions”…

1. Celebrate wins Real estate manager Gailene posts gold stars on her office door with each week’s listings and sales along with the responsible agents’ headshots.

2. Circulate success stories Jose shares people’s success stories in meetings and in monthly internal newsletters.

3. Request and share client feedback After each project, Shanya asks clients for a testimonial about her people to showcase the difference they made. 

4. Capture and applaud people’s ideas, insights, and innovations Raj keeps a journal so he can spotlight people’s contributions during 1:1s and in his handwritten notes to them.

5. End each meeting with a recap of the highlights Invite everyone to call “Clip it!” throughout the meeting!

By labeling people great today, we can influence them to be great again tomorrow.

Don’t Just Give Feedback. Be a Mirror.

According to research:

  • 65% of employees want more feedback from their boss
  • 72% believe their performance would improve if their boss offered more feedback

 

And yet feedback continues to be hijacked.

Why? Because, in spite of its enormous value, it can be confronting. Ultimately feedback reveals us to ourselves.

Consequently, people avoid asking for it, while bosses avoid giving it.

Why the antics? Because people assume all feedback is negative (even when it’s cleverly labeled “constructive”). And negative feedback feels critical and judgmental.

So what? Get thicker skin, right? Well, here’s the psychological skinny on criticism… the brain processes criticism as a threat to our survival. More specifically, when we are criticized, we cognitively feel the threat of being excluded from a group… even when the feedback is completely accurate.

So how can we offer the feedback that people want and need in order to grow, without triggering their fears of being excluded or ostracized?

Be a mirror.

A mirror offers a reflection. It allows people to see what they cannot see on their own: their face, their teeth, their hair, their outfit. All without the mirror’s judgment or criticism (unless you’re Snow White, of course).

As a boss, we can similarly help people see what they cannot see. We can offer a reflection of their actions, efforts, and behaviors that they might not be able to (or want to) see with their own eyes.

How?

  • Invite: “Would it help to hear my perspective?”
  • Express: “I’m happy about… I’m worried about…”
  • Reflect: “I’ve noticed… I’ve observed…”
  • Involve: “What do you see?”

 

When we are committed to contributing to someone’s success, we can serve as their mirror by offering a valuable perspective, while mitigating the innate fears that criticism triggers. 

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