Ann Tardy, Author at Ann Tardy | Speaker, Author, Trainer - Page 12 of 37

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[Flash] Embarrassed? Fabulous! Share it to Connect and Collaborate

When I needed to strengthen the connection with my stepdaughter, I didn’t regale her with my accomplishments. I told her an embarrassing story: I was an 8th grade cheerleader-in-training when I asked the entire team during a practice how to spell that strange word they kept shouting in their cheer: L-E-T-S-G-O! My stepdaughter and I laughed hysterically and instantly bonded.

When I need to build trust with mentees, I don’t brag about my achievements. I start with an embarrassing story: I was on stage to keynote a conference when I discovered that my shirt was inside out, and then my pants ripped… in the seat! We laugh and connect, and my mentees immediately feel safe.

And now all my cringe-worthy-story-sharing is backed by research!

A study done by the Kellogg School of Management shows that embarrassment can actually be a gateway to connection, creativity, and collaboration.

Participants in the study who shared embarrassing moments before a brainstorming session generated a larger number (26% more!) and a wider range (15% more categories!) of ideas than those who shared proud moments.

Proud-moment sharing is typically used to boost participant confidence at the beginning of meetings. Inadvertently, this approach causes people to edit their contributions later. Why? Because the resulting air of achievement ultimately suffocates those anything-less-than-brilliant ideas.

But when participants reveal an embarrassing anecdote, they shed their barrier of self-censorship, allowing community and creativity to thrive!

How?

  • Embarrassment at the start alleviates the fear of embarrassment later
  • Human stories are captivating, immediately engaging people in the meeting
  • Identifying similar experiences helps people feel connected
  • Being vulnerable increases communal empathy and trust
  • Admitting blunders makes it safe for all to blunder while ideating and brainstorming
  • Reflecting on our survival-from-embarrassing-moments reinforces our own resilience

If your Zoom/Teams/WebEx calls are getting a bit stale, experiment with an embarrassing-story swap to accelerate the connection, creativity, and collaboration!

As the late filmmaker Nora Ephron (When Harry Met Sally) often said, “Everything is copy.”

[Flash] Flip the Script! (the Key to Forward Momentum)

Flip the script:

  • Doing the unexpected or revolutionary
  • Reversing the usual or predictable positions in a situation
  • Abandoning what worked in the past for a new approach

Some examples:

  • The Inn at Little Washington restaurant in Virginia is limited to 50% capacity when it reopens next week, so it’s seating elegantly dressed mannequins at all empty tables.
  • Learning that farmers are being forced to dump milk and waste produce, supermarket chain Publix is buying food from farmers and donating it directly to food banks. They’ve already donated 150,000 pounds of produce and 43,000 gallons of milk.
  • NJ landlord David Placek cancelled the rent for his tenants for the next three months costing him $50,000. His only request of his renters: support local businesses.
  • Father Scott Holmer in Maryland is offering drive-thru confessions in the church parking lot.

We don’t expect such actions from restaurants, supermarkets, landlords, or priests. It’s unusual, unpredictable, and surprising. They’re flipping the script!

Recruiter Melissa has a client who applied for a manager-level position and was informed by the interviewer, “We can’t hire you. You’ve never been a manager.”

Her client flipped the script and replied, “But that’s exactly why you need to hire me. Because I don’t bring any manager baggage.”

To flip the script, first identify any limitations – yours or theirs. What boundaries, rules, or expectations are in the way? What objections are you hearing? What could be improved?

Then do, say, or create the unexpected. Take an objection and turn it around. Be unconventional and instigative! Stand out.

  • We don’t do it that way! Let’s just pilot it.
  • It’ll never work! Here’s how we can make it work…
  • You can’t put a picture of your family on your resume! I want you to know why this job is so important.
  • You don’t have any experience! I’ll work for free while I get some.
  • We didn’t get permission! We’ll ask for forgiveness.
  • Who are you? I’m the contractor you wish you knew last time you worked with a contractor.

Nothing about this pandemic feels normal or usual – we’ve been flipping the script in our work and our lives for weeks. So, let’s just keep going… adventure awaits!

[Flash] It’s Not About the Triangle

My father-in-law was a junior high school teacher, principal, and lifelong mentor. When students would complain about geometry, he would respond, “It’s not about the triangle. It’s about our ability to solve problems with a limited amount of information.”

The students’ reaction: irritation from working on challenging (and seemingly irrelevant) problems.
Their meaningful response: perseverance in search of a solution.

Similarly, it’s not about the pandemic or the quarantine (or even about toilet paper!). It’s about persevering in the face of unpredictability. It’s about finding ways to triumph with limited resources.

Our (understandable) reactions: frustration, fear, and anger in a world that feels out of our control.

David Kessler, author of Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, recently reflected on the pandemic, “We are feeling a collective loss of the world we all lived in before.”

He continued, “We must find meaning, not in the loss, but in our response. Meaning is what we do next.”

Let’s acknowledge some things “we have done next”:

  • We have learned to leverage technology.
  • We have reconnected with family and friends.
  • We have continued to work, exercise, and attend school from home.
  • We have improvised birthday parties and celebrations.
  • We have architected new structures, routines, and memories.
  • We have re-evaluated our priorities and commitments.
  • We have expanded our contributions at work and in the community.
  • We have re-invented how we deliver products and services.

    (e.g. The Twisted Citrus restaurant in North Canton, Ohio mounted shower curtains between tables to innovatively create “social distance” while meeting their financial need for many diners.)

And we met what was once deemed an impossible challenge: to slow down our world.

But ultimately, it’s not about the pandemic.

It’s about our response to it: determination, resourcefulness, initiative, grit, creativity, strength, kindness, gratefulness, intentionality, and courage.

[Flash] Got Quarantine Fatigue? Make Time to Wisdom Swap, Mastermind, and Mentor

I started today with quarantine-fatigue, webinar-fatigue, Zoom/Teams/Webex-fatigue. I’ve had enough! Even after my workout, shower, and breakfast, I was plodding through my day.

And then my colleague Melissa Crimmins, founder of BuiltHive, called me. I’m on her Advisory Board, and she was seeking a brain-exchange, a need-your-perspective call, a wisdom swap, a quick mentoring conversation.

I jumped at the chance to change the scenery (figuratively!).

Suddenly, I forgot my fatigue. I felt energized – I was making a difference! I was helping someone move forward, and ironically that helped me move forward.

The bonus? I didn’t walk away with action items or another project. I walked away with a sense of accomplishment and some insights for my own work.

Here’s why your mentoring is more important than ever before:

  • Loneliness is at an all-time high
  • Fear is running rampant
  • Transitions, pivots, and cross-skilling are causing imposter syndrome
  • Stuck is prevailing over resilience
  • Being “non-essential” feels personal

People need you! They’re starved for your fresh perspectives, new ideas, sound advice, teachings, insights, and encouragement!

Easy ways to get started:

  • Join the mentoring, connecting, or buddy program at your organization
  • Offer to brain exchange with others
  • Lead a learning circle around a topic, a book, or a skill
  • Organize a roundtable to wisdom swap with peers
  • Let your boss and HR know you want to mentor
  • Volunteer for a community mentoring program
  • Add to your email signature block: “Available to mastermind!”
  • Invite LinkedIn connections to brainstorm and share ideas

I promise, you won’t be bombarded. People don’t abuse mentors; they revere them.

“Maybe mentorship is just realizing the humanity in each of us and being there as equals with one another through an uncertain time.” – Alexandar Perez, a mentee at Weill Cornell Medicine.

[Flash] Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying, Said Your Career

In the movie The Shawshank Redemption, Tim Robbins’ character speculates, “Guess it comes down to a simple choice: get busy living or get busy dying.”

He was explaining his focused attitude and his deliberate actions every day in pursuit of his goal.

Based on data published recently by 451 Research, we better apply “get busy living” to our careers as well.

451 Research predicts 20 long-lasting changes to the workplace expected from the coronavirus impact, such as video interviewing and virtual-reality powered collaboration tools.

But #4: Upskilling and Cross-skilling are being implemented immediately. “Businesses will look to invest in developing employees’ new abilities [upskilling] to apply those skills across different work initiatives [cross-skilling].”

Hint Water
Once the pandemic hit, the employees in the field who handed out samples at grocery stores and events were extraneous. Hint quickly redeployed and retrained those team members on virtual selling.

Skybox Security
Their team of field marketing managers responsible for organizing client events, trade shows, and marketing opportunities became under-utilized when events around the world were canceled. Skybox is now cross-training this team on digital-based marketing, content development, intent analytics, and PR.

Dr. Praeger’s Purely Sensible Foods
When stay-at-home orders were announced, they experienced a 70% decline in sales of their veggie burgers to restaurants and hotels. They immediately shifted those sales teams to focus on grocery stores.

It’s strategic for businesses to leverage their talent through upskilling and cross-skilling; but it’s smart for employees to contribute value in new ways:
• Say yes! to opportunities
• Request cross-training
• Take classes
• Get certified in a new skill
• Learn the business
• Connect across departments and business lines
• Repurpose the product
• Reimagine service delivery
• Reinvent a process
• Consider what the team/customers need in this new environment
• Repeatedly ask others: “How can I support you right now?”

Get busy living or get busy dying… the difference lies in our intentionality.

[Flash] Mr. Rogers Would Love Pork Belly Ventures

Annually since 1973, cyclists have been pedaling across Iowa in a week-long bicycle-touring event called RAGBRAI.

And annually for over 20 years, Pork Belly Ventures (PBV) has been supporting thousands of RAGBRAI cyclists by offering charter services: luggage transfer, tent setup, food, entertainment, showers, bathrooms, and beds (for those who don’t want the camping experience).

Until now. The 48th RAGBRAI has officially been cancelled for 2020.

PBV founders Tammy and Pete will undoubtedly struggle – RAGBRAI is their predominant source of income.

And while they are reinventing their business, they’ve found some innovative and generous ways to help

Not only have they offered instant and full refunds to anyone who has already registered…

they also donated their trailers to three hospitals.

Why? Because they learned that medical workers are putting in long hours, sometimes unable, or unwilling to go home between shifts. They are desperate for rest.

Last week Tammy and Pete stationed PBV hotel trailers, shower trailers, and bathrooms outside of Mercy Hospital and Jennie Edmundson Hospital in Council Bluffs, Iowa and Omaha Hospital in Omaha, Nebraska.

And their agreement with the hospitals? No cost and no time limit.

Mr. Rogers would be heartened!

Fred Rogers, host of the children’s television series Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood once shared: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day I am always comforted by realizing that there are so many caring people in this world.”

How can you be a helper?

  • Tip generously drive-thru and delivery workers
  • Run errands for someone who is immunocompromised
  • Donate food or money
  • Share knowledge by teaching a free class online
  • Repurpose your skills, expertise, or services to solve new problems in your organization or community
  • Help someone learn how to use Zoom
  • Mentor someone who needs to be re-skilled or supported
  • Thank genuinely every front-line worker you see

We all have something to offer and some way to help… we just need to shift our focus from our circumstances to our contributions.

[Flash] Reframe for Resilience… in a Crisis or at a Crossroads

Earlier this year I registered for a conference in June that I was eager to attend. But given the reality of the pandemic, I was anticipating a somber cancellation email citing unprecedented times.

Instead, I received an email from the CEO that rippled with delight, “Great news! I’m thrilled to announce that the 2020 event will now take place in October!”

And in an instant the cloud over this conference dissipated…

Perception dictates how quickly we can recover from difficulties, whether in a crisis, at a crossroads, or in a conversation.

George Boonanno, a psychologist at Columbia University explains that events are not good or bad… unless we perceive them as such. The experience we have of an event is not inherent in the event – our experience dwells in how we psychologically construe the event.

Fortunately, we hold the power to interpret, add meaning to, and frame an event as: good, bad, insignificant, traumatic, positive, negative.

And the frame we choose determines the strength of our resiliency:
• If we frame an adversity as a threat, we will be unadaptable, weakened, paralyzed by fear, and at risk of a downward negative spiral.

• If we frame an adversity as a challenge or an opportunity, we will be galvanized to keep moving, learning, growing, strategizing, and innovating.
Caution, however, we tend to frame unconsciously and based on past experiences.

To temper the past, intentionally frame the present, and ensure resilience for the future, explore these Reframing Questions with your team/friends/family:
• What potential things could we gain from this?
• What are we discovering about ourselves?
• What can we do instead?
• What lessons have we learned?
• What is positive and valuable about this experience?
• How is this situation an opportunity for us?

There are no black clouds unless you believe it. ~ David V. Bush, author of Grit, Gumption, and Spunk

[Flash] Crisis Exposes Character (and Tests It and Strengthens it…)

Albert Einstein said, “Adversity introduces a man to himself.”

  • A man in Michigan stood on the corner of an Exxon gas station holding a sign: “Free Gas for Nurses.” He spent $900 of his own money to fill tanks for 80 medical workers on the front lines.
  • In South Dakota a middle school teacher stood outside a student’s house with a whiteboard and markers so he could illustrate how to graph an algebraic function after his emailed instructions after the shutdown didn’t help.
  • Every day for the past few weeks a woman in Maryland leaves hundreds of healthy bagged lunches on a tent-sheltered table at a busy intersection with a sign: “For anyone who needs it.”

According to David Brooks, author of The Road to Character, we build our character through our actions.

  • Actions that stem from honesty, courage, integrity, humility, and gratefulness
  • Actions that are not blinded by fear, vanity, gluttony, pride, or glory
  • Actions that are designed not to impress, but to serve… without expectations

And in crisis, that character is exposed and tested…

  • The first week of self-isolation, I acted with optimism (I shouted, “Hope springs eternal!” to everyone).
  • The second week I acted out of service and innovation (I architected Guides to Mobile Mentoring and Crisis Mentoring to help our clients).
  • The third week I acted adventuresome (I started learning Spanish with my niece and nephew via virtual lessons on Babbel).
  • This week I’m acting out of impatience and irritation…

Fortunately, as Brooks’ book title indicates, it’s a road to character – a journey, not a goal or a destination.

Brooks explains that people of character use every experience (even adversity) as tools for transformation. So while crisis exposes and tests our character, we can also use it to strengthen our character.

And every day we get another opportunity to do just that – to serve without expectations, to be honest, courageous, humble, and grateful.

When everything around us feels unpredictable and uncertain, our character is the one thing we can completely control.

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