[Flash] I Hate Strangers (But I Like People)

And suddenly I remembered what a year in quarantine helped me forget… I really hate strangers.

I hate them in lines at the airport. I hate them on the plane. I hate them while driving. I hate them at the hotel. I hate them in restaurants.

I hate them here. I hate them there. I hate them everywhere.

But I like people.

I like hearing their journey unfold. I enjoy learning about their childhood adventures and career choices. I am fascinated to discover what makes people tick. And I am amused when their story challenges my assumptions and preconceived notions.

So why do strangers scare me? Because they have the absolute power to reject me at any moment.

Therefore, I work especially hard to reject strangers first. Often, I do this by internally judging and criticizing them. Sometimes, I ignore them.

But because I like people, I deliberately find ways to turn strangers into people.

• I smile first.
• I find something to compliment.
• I say something snarky about our shared circumstances (like a packed plane in a pandemic!).
• I look for a commonality (if they have a dog, they are never strangers!).
• I get interested in where they grew up.
• I ask questions and earnestly listen, eager to dig deeper and dive in to learn more.
• I wonder about their perspectives, their experiences, and their world.
• I ask “How” questions instead of “Why” questions to stay curious without judgment.
• I give them a chance (which is like kryptonite to my internal stranger-loathing thoughts).

And I remind myself of the Big Secret: strangers are afraid that I’m going to reject them!

Instantly, like a superpower, I get to set us both free.

© 2021. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com