| I saw a meme recently that mocked, “So in retrospect, in 2015, not a single person got the answer right to: ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?'”
In view of the pandemic, this joke is amusing. But it also underscores the absurdity of that question by highlighting two dominating assumptions: control and certainty. A team of researchers published a study on the remarkable relationship between uncertainty and stress, reporting that uncertainty is even more stressful than knowing something bad is definitely going to happen. (https://doi.org/10.1038/ncomms10996) We fear uncertainty. And consequently, we value control. More than any other ability, we greatly admire it in others and applaud it in ourselves. Historian and author Yuval Noah Harari wrote, “We spend far more time and effort on trying to control the world than on trying to understand it… “… and even when we try to understand it, we usually do so in the hope that understanding the world will make it easier to control it.” But control is not the solution to quell our fear of uncertainty. Studies show that the odds of us facing adversity are not 50%, but 100%. It’s inevitable. The only real certainty is uncertainty. Thus, our options:
Understanding begets empathy and compassion for ourselves and others. It kindles our commitment to resiliency. It strengthens trust. In life, at work, and in relationships, it is our superpower. Let’s stop clearing paths for people, fueling a fictional world of certainty and control. Instead, let’s prepare people to embrace uncertainty by working on understanding each other and the world, instead of trying to control it. That’s our responsibility as leaders, parents, and mentors. |